Social Media Is For Assholes
by bxssun
Summary: Grimmjow groaned in annoyance and rolled over, unplugging his phone which was vibrating mercilessly. A dog pile of notifications bombarded his lock screen. It's five in the fucking morning, what the hell are these bastards doing, having an orgy? Grimmjow threw his phone against the opposite wall, cracking it, and snuggled back to Ichigo. Social media were for assholes anyway.


Twitter Edition 1

 **Ichi's Sex Slave** _ilovecats06_ -

 _strawberrycutie15_ my berry last nite was fireee ;)

 **Captain Nnoi** _tallasslankyfucker -_

 _ilovecats06_ you lucky faggot

 **Fab Bitch Shin** _rainbowdick -_

 _strawberrycutie15_ bitch wtf why you not tell me you got dicked last nite?

 **Humans Are Trash** _plsstopimnotemo -_

 _ilovecats06_ you're brashness and poor use of grammar fails to surprise me anymore, Grimmjow. It's a miracle that Ichigo is still with you... Maybe it's contagious.

 **Rad Red** _pineapplesupreme -_

 _ilovecats06, strawberrycutie15_ omfg. you tweet about that shit everyday, like I shit you not, at exactly 11:42 am, this whack ass mofo be postin that shit everywhere, I wouldn't be surprised if it were on billboards already #ichigopleasefixyourbf

 **Ichi's Sex Slave** _ilovecats06 -_

 _plsstopimnotemo_ DONT TALK BAD BOUT ICHIBABE! he love me for what's in here *points to heart* and in here *points to crotch* _pineapplesupreme_ lol u mad *clicks tongue* or naaawh #byakuyaaintsmashinhardenough

 **Captain Nnoi** _tallasslankyfucker -_

 _ilovecats06_ LMFAO I DUN, u's a dumass, DUMASS BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 **Chappy Lover** _midgetmenot -_

 _ilovecats06_ grimmjow, would you please explain in full detail what you two did last night? #inreturnforlimitededitionchappybunnycondoms

 **Rad Red** _pineapplesupreme -_

 _ilovecats06_ MAN DONT PULL THAT SHIT, SHE HAS SOME WEIRD ASS CULT YAOI WEBSITE THAT PROLLY ILLEGAL IN 69 COUNTRIES

 **Ichi's Sex Slave** _ilovecats06 -_

 _midgetmenot_ I ain't interested, the shit that went down last nite is stored in a safe inside my brain called "masturbation material", only for my use and not for ur creepy perverted crap _pineapplesupreme_ plus, I don't want to sleep on couch again

 **Fab Bitch Shin** _rainbowdick -_

 _midgetmenot_ ILL TAKE IT

 **Captain Nnoi** _tallasslankyfucker -_

 _rainbowdick_ lol u a weird ass

 **Ichi's Sex Slave** _ilovecats06 -_

 _tallasslankyfucker_ u guys are gon fuck I bet my left nut sack

 **Humans Are Trash** _plsstopimnotemo -_

 _tallasslankyfucker_ I hate to agree with this mongrel, but yes I would also bet my left scrotum

 **Captain Nnoi** _tallasslankyfucker -_

 _ilovecats06, plsstopimnotemo_ y'all are fucked. I should get my ass a cup to collect those ballsacks cause no way in hell that happenin

 **Fab Bitch Shin** _rainbowdick -_

 _tallasslankyfucker_ ;) quit playin u know u want dis booty

by the way does anyone know where Ichigo is?

 **Ichi's Sex Slave** _ilovecats06 -_

 _rainbowdick_ he in a meeting

 **Grimm's Pimp** _strawberrycutie15 -_

 _ilovecats06_ was*

 **Ichi's Sex Slave** _ilovecats06 -_

 _strawberrycutie15_ I LOVE YOU.

It's over? HURRY AND COME HOME

 **Chappy Lover** _midgetmenot -_

 _strawberrycutie15, ilovecats06_ lol you sound like an overgrown house cat waiting for its master to come home xD

 **Grimm's Pimp** _strawberrycutie15_ -

 _midgetmenot_ lol ikr _ilovecats06_ no, I got kicked out lmfao. I was reading through your guys' tweets and I died a little, I fell off the chair laughing like an idiot and old man Yamamoto blew his fuse ha

 **Ichi's Sex Slave** _ilovecats06_ -

 _strawberrycutie15_ babe, is ur bum ok?

 **Grimm's Pimp** _strawberrycutie15_ -

 _ilovecats06_ ofc it is dumbass, and I love you too

 **Ichi's Sex Slave** _ilovecats06_ -

Ahsvhdcbjf,shgkdfkghdifuigteonioijdotijgijtdzuhoym

 **Captain Nnoi** _tallasslankyfucker -_

 _ilovecats06_ u are so whipped holy shit

 **Humans Are Trash** _plsstopimnotemo_ -

 _tallasslankyfucker, ilovecats06_ it totally did not help that they made each other's accounts and created their names... #imgoingtodieofsappyness

 **Captain Nnoi** _tallasslankyfucker_ -

 _plsstopimnotemo_ bruuh, saame

 **Fab Bitch Shin** _rainbowdick_ -

 _strawberrycutie15_ *tears up* my baby growin up :')

 **Chappy Lover** _midgetmenot_ -

OTP OTP OTP OTP OTP OTP OTP OTP OTP OTP OTP

 **I'm sorry. What's wrong with me?**

 **I don't know what to do with my life lmfao.**

 **I don't know why I made this honestly, I most likely because just got inspired by something completely random and bullshit lol. It's probably because my brain is shitting everywhere and doesn't want to think about my other works at the moment so I decided to drift away from that but still be able to write something I enjoy.**

 **I'm currently in a rut right now, that is why I haven't updated my other shit yet, but I'm pretty sure it'll come back to me and I'll start writing the others again.**

 **Expect more from this? I don't know, it was fun for me when writing it so if you guys like it, then yeah definitely expect more. I'm planning on doing three chapters for each type of social media? I might even throw MySpace in there for shits and giggles lmao.**

 **Thoughts, comments, concerns? I'd appreciate the feed back (:**

 **Thanks for reading !**

 **ps, if you have not seen the pikachu grimmjow fanart then you are seriously missing out on life. seriously it's fucking hilarious.**

 **~bxssun \m/**

 **BOLD LETTERS = Handler Name**

 ** _Italicized Letters = Usernames_**


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